Grieving Mom Gives Gift Of Life

Ryan Trares

rtrares@ftimes.com

Even in the darkest of hours, in the deepest of tragedy, goodness sometimes finds a way.

It was that goodness that touched Tammy Edens on May 20 hours after her first child, Sam Hight, had died.

Sam, a sixth-grader at Clinton Central Elementary School, had fallen out of bed in the middle of the night. Edens found him unresponsive when she came to check on him.

She called for an ambulance, which transported her son to Tipton Memorial Hospital around 4:30 a.m. Just after 5:36 a.m., Sam was pronounced dead. In an autopsy, the coroner was unable to find the cause and ruled the death due to natural causes.

With so many questions in her mind, doctors posed her a question of their own, one of monumental difficulty at such a time: Would she like her son to be a tissue donor?

"Sam was the kind of person who would help someone, no matter what it was," she said. "I think he would have enjoyed knowing he could have helped someone like this."

Edens admitted tissue donation was a difficult subject to think about at the time. Still, she recognized the significance of the gift Sam could give.

"I didn't want to think of him as being chopped up," she said. "It's a hard decision, but knowing that someone wouldn't have to go through the tragedy of losing a child helped."

Approaching a parent to be a donor is a delicate matter, as Jennifer Harre knows first-hand. As family services coordinator for the Indiana Organ Procurement Organization (IOPO), Harre is responsible for posing the question of donation.

"We prefer to go in and introduce ourselves and offer support and comfort," she said. "We want to get to know them a little bit before getting into a donation conversation, to help them out and help them understand."

Harre said that while some do not respond to the idea of donating, many realize the significance of their decision.

"Parents are normally such giving people because they don't want another family to go through what they're going through," she said.

After contemplation, Edens, an organ donor herself, decided.

In Sam's case, no major organs could be donated, as the coroner was still investigating the cause of death. However, doctors were able to collect skin, cartilage, tendons, corneas and lower extremity bones from Sam.

"We never thought these things could benefit someone so much," Edens said. "When you think of organ and tissue donation, you think of the major organs. I didn't know there were so many little things that could help."

It wasn't until earlier this week that she realized the impact her decision would have.

"A woman from the organ bank called me Tuesday night. She told me that she was sorry for our loss, but she thought this would help to know that quite a few people would benefit from this," she said. "I was first told 60 people would be helped from Sammy, then that it could be more."

It has been a month since Sam's death, and the family is still healing. Edens has taken to saving various mementos around the household, as well as the cards and letters that resulted from a tremendous outpouring of support from the Clinton Central community.

"I don't think I would have gotten through this as easily without this," she said of the letters and cards. "Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I take these out and just go through them."

While nothing can erase the pain of losing her child, Eden finds comfort thinking about the people whose lives are better now because of Sam's gifts.

"I don't want to say it made it easier, but it has helped ease the pain knowing that he was able to help so many with what seems like a small sacrifice," she said.

Now she is using her experience to stress how vital organ donation is.

"I think parents need to talk with kids about this. Kids' tissues and organs are just as much in need as adults'," she said. "We never really went in depth on the subject, but Sam knew and his little brother, Tyler, had the 'in generals' of it."

On a larger scale, Rick Lofgren, president of the Bloomington-based Children's Organ Transplant Association, also stresses the importance of discussing organ donation with the family.

"The message we try to give is talk to your family about giving life," he said. "It's not easy to do it over the dinner table, but it's a lot easier to do it there than in the emergency room, when the doctor comes to tell you your child is gone and (asks) would you like to donate his organs?"

Edens' hope is to call attention to the topic of organ donation in the community, asking for more education about the matter.

"Next year, I plan on speaking with Clinton Central about talking with the kids about this," she said. "I don't know if it can be approached in health or science classes, but I think kids are mature enough to understand it, more than their parents think."

Already, it is required by state law that high schools cover the topic in health classes. The IOPO has developed a curriculum, the "Chalk One Up for Life" program, approved by the Indiana Department of Education.

"In high school, kids are becoming familiar with this," said Sam Davis of IOPO. "They've realized they're just as important as adults in this and they want to help. It has made an impact how kids perceive their value."

No such program exists currently, Davis said, and he would like to see one develop for more than just high school students.

"We're working on an age-appropriate program for younger children," he said. "It's looking at a lot of health-related items, since the ways people live can contribute to the need for organ transplant."

Edens realizes that parents may be against drawing attention to a topic such as death, dismissing it as inappropriate for children. Yet she counters that kids are aware of these things.

"They know a lot more than their parents think they know," she said. "They want to keep them in that protective shell, and that's good, but the world's changing, and I don't think they can do that anymore."

Organ Donation Facts

Organ donation has emerged as a second chance for hundreds of thousands of people suffering from medical ailments, many of whom have no other option.

In 2002, 24,893 people in the United States received transplants of some sort, according to the Organ Procurement and Transplant Network.

An organ donation shortage exists in this country. As of April 23, more than 81,000 people were wait for organ and tissue transplants, according to OPTN, and an average of 15 people die every day waiting for a transplant.

While the shortage affects people of all ages, 12,000-15,000 children are waiting for a solid organ, according to Rick Lofgren, president of the Bloomington-based Children's Organ Transplant Association.

On average, two or three children die each day waiting for an organ, according to COTA.

For more information about organ and tissue donation, contact Children's Organ Transplant Association, (800) 366-2682; or check its Web site at www.cota.org.

Copyright © 2003 The Frankfort Times.

This article posted June 29, 2003.